my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
