Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
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