I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
