he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
