Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Randomize
