Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
