lets start a swedish sibling band together
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
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