happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
