Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
