I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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