pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
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