she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
