I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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