I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Randomize
