That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
