In the future we'll all be gay
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
After tacos, we're chasing women.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
