i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
