we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Randomize
