VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
