so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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