Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
