apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Randomize
