You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
My ass is underappreciated
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
