CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
