I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
whose ass print is on the piano?
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Randomize
