WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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