I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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