i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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