It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
