then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
