Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
