even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
