i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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