Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
