I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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