Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
