Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
