Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
