Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
