I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
