Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
