Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
We need to get me chipped asap
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
