she looked like the before picture.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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