so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
