so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
He kissed a someone with a penis
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
