took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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