I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
