I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
