3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
