I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
