He is an equal opportunity slut.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
